Monday, October 13, 2014

Focus

My mind has reached the threshold of what it can process.

I wake up to racing around and getting all of us ready to go out the door.  No matter what I do the night before to prepare, no matter how early I get up, it is always hectic.  Always.
Please don't send me your list of tips on how to reorganize my day.  Just hear me.

I go through the day inundated with messages, emails, texts, alerts, and information and information and more information I have to synthesize and process for work and for home.
Decisions, schedules, to-do lists, demands.
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I come home to a stream of questions, questions, questions and more demands.
 "Mom guess what" and "Mom look" and "Mom I want" and "Mom when are we gonna".

And there is dinner, and laundry, and homework, homework, homework.
And practices, events, and obligations, and more work.

And all the while the emails and messages and more information to process loom in the background.
Along with the mental roller coaster of am I making the right decisions, am I ruining the children, did I forget something, am I doing what I should be doing.
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I try to multi-task to the nth degree.

In the past, I was a PRO.  I was SHARP.  I was QUICK.

Now, I struggle to simply function.

I find myself not being able to answer simple questions.

I stare blankly and have to mentally repeat and reprocess what is being said to me.

I have reached a limit.  The limit.
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Kudos to all of you who are managing so well.  
Rock on brothers and sisters.

I am not as strong as you.  Not as smart.  As organized.  As adept. Whatever.

This is raw survival mode.

Which makes me frightened and suddenly alerts me that my focus is misdirected.

I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint.  Jeremiah 21:35

Oh that's right.

The LORD will give strength to his people; the LORD will bless his people with peace.  Psalm 29:11

In my frenzy, I once again forgot that keeping my focus on Him is the fast track to peace.

The devil is truly in the details, you know.
The details, details, details, overwhelming details, and information and overload.
It keeps us nicely scattered, distracted, and unfocused.

Focus.

Time to regroup, and take it back.

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2 comments:

  1. Totally, totally get this. Only I don't have the kids & school stuff but it's tough!

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  2. For some reason I CAN NOT get a grip on our morning routine this year. I felt like I did a much better job last year. Libby's school starts 30 minutes earlier this year - yay. :/ But that's not it, I prep and pack lunches, but I'm scrambling every morning. And I hate it. What is it? I feel like I need to get up an hour earlier, but that's not going to happen. So I'm over here waving my white flag. I need a nap and some wine and a work out and a foot rub...

    Solidarity, sister!
    - Beth

    ReplyDelete

Kerri says:

Thanks so much for taking the time to share your thoughts! I LOVE reading your comments.

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