I feel like I need to throw in the disclaimer here that I love my children dearly, I would love to be a stay-at-home mom, I love spending time with them, and I know this time is flying by and they will be grown and gone before I know it and I am so thankful and blessed to have these precious healthy children here to drive me crazy....but sometimes being a mom can be mentally overwhelming. This is one of those times.This was one of those weekends that starting at 5:30am on Saturday, b decided he was going to be right up under me and require my constant attention, interaction, conversation, etc.
And I am worn out from it.
Something was up with him this weekend.
Not sure what.
He has been doing better the last few weeks, not having nightmares, or asking to go to my grandmother's (it's been 2 months since she died), and has seemed to be settling in at school.
But this weekend, he was very needy.
He got upset with B several times, when he was finished playing with him, or wanted to do something other than what b was doing. He went and got a suitcase, packed up and told us he was moving to Texas.
P.S. We don't know anyone in Texas.He got upset with me, too.
But I tried to be kind, and compassionate, because I know he is still struggling on some level with the loss of Nanny, and of his little life's routine.
We all are.
But I am not sure I did the best job this weekend.
But honestly, I am TIRED.
And by 8:30 tonight when he was holding my face to force me to look at something he wanted me to see on TV, when I was already looking, because he had told me 10 times already, "Mommy watch, Mommy watch" I raised my voice for the first time this weekend, saying, "I AM WATCHING!"
And he looked shocked and surprised.
And I felt bad.
I still feel bad.
So I need a day to mentally regroup.
But I have to work tomorrow.