Sunday, October 14, 2012

I Need a Day to Regroup

I need a day to mentally regroup from the weekend.  This is one of those weekends when my 4 year old, was, well, let me just say he drove me nuts.
I feel like I need to throw in the disclaimer here that I love my children dearly, I would love to be a stay-at-home mom, I love spending time with them, and I know this time is flying by and they will be grown and gone before I know it and I am so thankful and blessed to have these precious healthy children here to drive me crazy....but sometimes being a mom can be mentally overwhelming.  This is one of those times.
This was one of those weekends that starting at 5:30am on Saturday, b decided he was going to be right up under me and require my constant attention, interaction, conversation, etc.
And I am worn out from it.
Something was up with him this weekend.
Not sure what.
He has been doing better the last few weeks, not having nightmares, or asking to go to my grandmother's (it's been 2 months since she died), and has seemed to be settling in at school.
But this weekend, he was very needy.
And clingy.
And emotional.
And LOUD.
He got upset with B several times, when he was finished playing with him, or wanted to do something other than what b was doing.  He went and got a suitcase, packed up and told us he was moving to Texas.
P.S. We don't know anyone in Texas.
He got upset with me, too.
Several times.
But I tried to be kind, and compassionate, because I know he is still struggling on some level with the loss of Nanny, and of his little life's routine.
We all are.
But I am not sure I did the best job this weekend.
I tried.
But honestly, I am TIRED.
And by 8:30 tonight when he was holding my face to force me to look at something he wanted me to see on TV, when I was already looking, because he had told me 10 times already, "Mommy watch, Mommy watch" I raised my voice for the first time this weekend, saying, "I AM WATCHING!"
And he looked shocked and surprised.
And I felt bad.
I still feel bad.
So I need a day to mentally regroup.
Without children.
But I have to work tomorrow.
Fiddle-dee-dee.

5 comments:

  1. It is amazing how much he looks like the kid playing Dennis the Mence.
    I am sorry it was a hard weekend.

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  2. No need for the disclaimer...we are all moms and love our children dearly...but some days are way harder than others and we get it. I hope you were able to get some alone time on Sunday. I love the pictures of him packing his suitcase and walkig out the door...too cute! :)

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  3. I also agree, no need for the disclaimer, I can totally relate! I'm actually super impressed you just raised your voice once...I think I must be a "yeller" because I raise mine a lot...need to work on that. Sigh. Hope this week goes smoothly and you enjoy a lunch or two eaten very slowly :)

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  4. Um, yes, if you only raised your voice once you are a SAINT! That sounds like the way Celia is every day. And she is also the cutest, sweetest little thing but there isn't a day that goes by when she doesn't try my patience at some point. Hope you had a good break at work today :)

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  5. I don't think you need a disclaimer. Everyone needs a break.

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Kerri says:

Thanks so much for taking the time to share your thoughts! I LOVE reading your comments.

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