Saturday, January 14, 2012

Silly Mama Tears

Today, B was invited to a birthday party by one of his friends from Preschool.  They have remained friends this year, and kept in touch as they played soccer and hockey together.  
You may remember, I whined a LOT and agonized at B having to leave his Preschool friends when he started kindergarten this Fall.  One of his best buddies, Jac, was in B's 3k and 4k classes.  It was particularly hard for me to explain that they would not be attending the same Kindergarten together, and B was real sad about it.

When we got to the birthday party today, all of the kids were running around having a great time, when I noticed Jac walk in. I looked up and saw that Brodie had noticed, too, and he was slowly making his way down from the playground and up to his old buddy, who was a little taller than  the last time we saw him.  I heard B say, a little unsure, "Jac, is that you?  Is that really you?"   I watched them smile and run off together, without missing a beat. 

And so began the silly Mama tears.

I tried real hard to hide them, so no one would notice.

I know it is crazy, but I still miss those precious moments of Preschool, and that innocent time that will never be again.  I miss those days even more right now as I think back on them, as it was before Nanny's cancer returned, and before Mother had to close her restaurant, and looking back, things just seemed a little better.  

I guess those times are now officially "the good old days".  Had you asked me, back then, if they were so good, I might have said, "no", but looking back now, I see clearly that they were.

Why is it that we can't know that until it is too late?

I'll tell you why.  Because right now, Nanny is dying from cancer, and my Mother is still in an uncertain state, and the transition to real school has required a lot more of us, and I am back to working 2 jobs, and we are so wrapped up in our worries and the day to day of it all that we can't stop and enjoy what is now.

Even still, some how I know, or at least highly suspect, that in a few years down the road I will look back on these times as "good old days", too.

As today's party drew to a close, Brodie hated to leave, as I knew he would.  He told me he needed to talk to Jac.  I heard him as he went over and told Jac that he would soon be having his birthday party, and could he please come and celebrate with us.  I assured them I would mail him an invitation.  Then as we started to leave, Jac said, "Hey Brodie!"  And Brodie turned around and Jac gave him a big hug and they both smiled so big, and so happy,  and I might have remembered to pull out my camera and take a picture, if I wasn't so busy trying hard to hide more... silly Mama tears.


  1. That's so sweet. Little kids are so cute with their first friends. Celia had a best friend at daycare who doesn't come anymore and lives in another town, and she always tells me she misses him and asks why she can't see him anymore. It's cute but so sad that she misses him so much.

  2. That's so sweet. Don't you worry about those tears!

  3. I love you, girl. I hope you know what an awesome mother and person you are!!!

  4. I would have cried too! That is so sweet!

  5. Oh, how sweet...this got me all chocked up! How wonderful that B got to hangout with his old buddy! There's just something so special about preschool...I'd go back in an instant if I could!

  6. A wonderful post capturing a sweet moment. I'm sure the birthday party will be a huge success now that Jac is coming.

  7. I don't think those tears are silly at all. I think they force you to be right here, right now. My heart hurts all the time for what the kids leave behind.


Kerri says:

Thanks so much for taking the time to share your thoughts! I LOVE reading your comments.

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