I wanted to write an inspiring post.
I wanted to say how I somehow survived the worst financial month of my life and made it to payday.
I wanted to tell you how I woke up Monday morning feeling panicky that we'd signed the Canadian up for the Haiti Trip, and that I was having doubts and freaking out a bit. I wanted to tell you how by the end of that same day, 11:30PM that night, to be exact, we had randomly, without warning or provocation received the total $1000 for the down payment for the trip that must be paid now. True story. Isn't that amazing? Isn't it like a direct sign from God? Shouldn't it be inspiring over anything else?
And then, here we are. August 5th. Being a teacher, I get paid once a month. I was paid July 31, and the only bill I have paid was last month's power bill. I also made a measly payment on the $800 worth of outstanding medical bills, pool pump died this week $380, car went in the shop to the tune of $861 and still needs $625 more work done, blah blah blah, and it is only the 5th.
I am no longer inspired.
Worse than all of that, B has to see a specialist about a medical issue. In the grand scheme of things, and in worse case scenario, it would take a minor surgery to fix it - if it needs fixing, but I am miserable just thinking about that possibility. MISERABLE. His health is more important than anything else in this world. Anything. Pray for my baby. Please.
I am trying to focus on praising Him in this storm. This storm which apparently has no desire to blow away.
Remember my post about that (linked here)?
Psalm 100:4 Enter his gates with Thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.
~We get access to Him when we praise Him.
Psalm 22:3 He inhabits the praise of his people.
~He lives and dwells in our life when we praise Him.I need direct access.
I have so much to be thankful for.
I am thankful.
I am not inspired, or inspiring, but this time, from deep below, I am praising the Lord.