Lately, my mind has been a dark and scary place. This is nothing totally new for me, and I have struggled with these episodes throughout my life. It is something I have been able to keep at bay for about 6 years now. But, once again, my old friend anxiety and panic has returned. It is really wearing me down. I am not getting enough rest and therefor don't feel able to get enough exercise. I spend many nights pacing the floors, speaking affirmations out loud and talking myself through the sheer terror spinning in my head. I am scared to be alone because I am afraid I will have an anxiety attack- and please note I have never been scared to be alone! I am hypersensitive to my physical ailments and flip out over the least little pains - even when I know what is causing them. I feel worried about going away from home because I am scared of what might happen.
I can't put my finger on any one thing that I could say has triggered this newest attack on my peace. Six years ago, it was a major job change coupled with 9/11. This time, it could be a combination of some of the recent health problems I have been experiencing, the turmoil in my personal life, the economic constraints, the horrible natural disasters occurring lately, the horrible illnesses affecting precious people around me...I don't know.
In an effort to stay off the crazy train, I have put myself in therapy. T
Common obsessive thoughts in OCD include:
- Fear of being contaminated by germs or dirt or contaminating others
- Fear of causing harm to yourself or others
- Intrusive sexually explicit or violent thoughts and images
- Excessive focus on religious or moral ideas
- Fear of losing or not having things you might need
- Order and symmetry: the idea that everything must line up “just right.”
- Superstitions; excessive attention to something considered lucky or unlucky