Saturday, February 5, 2011

Who are the Bad Guys?

Back in early January, my Mother and my boys unknowingly walked in the back door to her house as a burglar was running out the front door.  We were so very thankful he ran out and no one was hurt.  Unfortunately, the boys were there when the police came and were caught up in the talk of what happened.
It has been about a month now since the incident, and B is still having nightmares.  Now, he has nightmares pretty regularly anyway, but they have been worse lately.  I didn't realize the burglary was still on his mind until last week, when on the way to school...

B asked, "Mommy, who are the bad guys?"
"What bad guys?" I asked.
"You know, the bad guys who came in Nana's house," he replied.
"I don't know," I answered weakly, wondering where this was going.
Then he asked, "How many bad guys are in this world?"
Feeling sad, I lied, "I don't know, not too many I hope."
He still wasn't satisfied and asked, "But where are the bad guys?"
I was trying to carefully plan my answer because B doesn't miss a thing - or forget either.
"They are in jail, " I lied.
"Why are they in jail?" he asked.
"Well, so the police can help them learn to behave," I explained.
"Where is the jail?" he asked.
"Well, it's far away, " I lied. Again.
"Can I see it from here?" he asked.
"No.  It's far away, " I said.
He looked out the window for a while and then said, "Mommy, what do the bad guys look like?"
"Well, I'm not sure, I don't know," I said.
Then he surprised me and said, "I know what they look like."
"You do?" I asked.  I was a little concerned.
"Yes, they have a big black beard and mean eyes.  Oh and a shirt with a number 1 on it," he said.  
I have no idea where that came from, but I am sure it was in a movie or something.
He got quiet for a while and then I reminded him, "You know, honey, you don't have to worry about the bad guys.  The policemen worry about them - so kids don't have to."
He thought for a minute and asked, "Mommy, but why do the bad guys do bad things?"
This time I told the truth, "I don't know, honey."
And I don't.


  1. Like bringing loaded AK-47s to a high school basketball game. This is really getting out of control.

  2. Seriously, it would make me so sad to have to have that conversation with my children (I don't have any yet). The world can be such a scary place sometimes! Poor little guy, I hope he forgets about the topic soon.

  3. Oh, this made me a little teary. How sad for your little guy to be worrying about this. I think you handled it well and said just the right thing.

  4. Oh wow! What a scary thing. My husband works with "bad guys" so we've, unfortunatley, had many bad guy conversations.
    Thanks for the comment on my blog!

  5. You did well. It's so hard to answer all of their questions. A few times when Deaglan has run away from me in a public place, I've had to scare him by telling him a bad man might get him. Big Mistake. Almost daily he asks me where the bad man is, what he looks like, where he lives...


Kerri says:

Thanks so much for taking the time to share your thoughts! I LOVE reading your comments.

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